Author: petrah

The blog expresses my personal opinion.

I hope you are enjoying the Scavenger Hunt as much as I do.

I have been reading during the first week of the hunt some great posts and discovered some interesting websites.

This week’s theme is: Mother to Mother support

I was going to compile a list of things women have found helpful and passed on at La Leche League meetings and in the Breastfeeding cafes I run (see under ‘Breastfeeding’ for times and places if you are in London). I discovered that there is already a blog about it, so decided to look at it from a different angle.

Everyone wants to help a new mum (especially if it is the first baby): Your partner (if you have one) – your family – your friends – Health professionals – and strangers on the street.

And while this is wonderful and often very helpful there is an aspect that turns the much needed support into something complicated or hurtful. The problem is that you know, that the advice or suggestion came from the right place, then why is it making you feel bad or guilty?

One reason is that you are running on instincts (you can find more about this in the section ‘article’) and coming from this place your needs are quite different.

When there is a problem or people think you need more help, they often listen to you with the aim to find a practical solution. Therefore they are in the left (cognitive – thinking) part of their brain; consequently they come up with advice and practical solutions – which can be helpful and just what you need – and most of the times it misses you by miles and makes you feel un-heard; not listened to (which adds to the hurt).

Your instincts are not run by logic; add to that Oxytocin, which makes you work with the right (creative) side of your brain, it is perfectly clear that you communicate on different levels, therefore missing each other.

Maybe you wonder now if you are doing something wrong or if nature got you wrong…

NO!

This is how it is meant to be, because your baby is communicating with you from an instinctual, right brain level.

How could you understand and meet your baby’s needs if you were communicating from a different place?

The problem is that we are in our society so far removed from the understanding and knowledge of these things, that it can take you a while to reconnect with it and trust that your instincts are right.

I wish you all the best on your journey as a mother/parent. Feel free to leave a comment or ask questions.

Petra

Lactation Consultant IBCLC and La Leche League Breastfeeding Counsellor
Gestalt Counsellor

Other websites who joint the hunt you might find interesting:

Dispelling breastfeeding myth: http://www.mythnomore.blogspot.co.uk/

The secret life of Kate: http://www.thesecretlifeofkate.blogspot.co.uk/

Ponderings of a Doula: http://www.betterbirthing.blog.com/

Smiling like sunshine: http://www.smilinglikesunshine1.blogspot.co.uk

http://www.keepbritainbreastfeding.co.uk.

The blog expresses my personal opinion.

What a theme to start the ‘Scavenger Hunt 2012’ with.

I am sorry if that rattles you. That is not my intention.

My intention is to support you and I hope you can bring yourself to read what I have to say and it will hopefully do just that :

For weeks and weeks you have been imagining how it will be to give birth and how you will look after your beautiful baby.

You talked to people and/or read books and magazines. You wrote your birth plan. You worked out together how your birth partner (if you have one) can support you best.

You might have not been feeling well in your pregnancy and you might have never felt better (or anything in between).

One thing that most probably has stayed the same is the vision of a beautiful birth. Because if you don’t hold onto that, your fears might just take over and that would make it very hard for you to function in your daily live.

…….And yet I have to ask you to put that picture to the side and think for a moment that your baby might be born early for whatever reason…..

Scary isn’t it? Keep breathing……

Have a think what you would need to have in place to be able to cope with this eventuality:

·        What support is at the hospital?

·        Do they support kangaroo care?

·        Do they support breastfeeding and how?

·        Have they got a Breastfeeding counsellor or Lactation consultant working in Special Care (NICU) or do you need to find out who is in

          your area and have their phone numbers handy?       

·        Do they offer to you and your partner counselling (once your baby is home), so you can talk things through and start to heal?

·        If you have older children, who can help look after them so you and your partner can both stay with the baby and bond.

It is not an easy theme and I know that most of us prefer not to think about this and just hope for the best. And I also know that having thought it through can give you extra support in your pregnancy as you know you are prepared for everything and it supports you if it happens, because – believe me – most of us don’t have the time or energy in a situation like that to find out what they need and then you have to go along with whatever the hospital tells you to do (which can be everything from brilliant to leaving you feeling lonely and un-supported).

You can find on my links page some helpful websites.

I hope that thinking it through will help you cope should this happen to you and hope you will never need this part of your plans.

Petra

Lactation Consultant IBCLC and La Leche League Breastfeeding Counsellor
Gestalt Counsellor

Other websites who joint the hunt you might find interesting:

Dispelling breastfeeding myth: http://www.mythnomore.blogspot.co.uk/

The secret life of Kate: http://www.thesecretlifeofkate.blogspot.co.uk/

Ponderings of a Doula: http://www.betterbirthing.blog.com/

Smiling like sunshine: http://www.smilinglikesunshine1.blogspot.co.uk

The blog expresses my personal opinion.

Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt

The British National Breastfeeding week will be celebrated in 2012 from June 24th – 30th.

I will let Karen (who organises the hunt) explain the why and how:

“The goal of the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt 2012 is to add a little bit of fun and to raise awareness of breastfeeding.  Many women do not reach their breastfeeding goals, stopping much earlier than they intended to.  During the Month of June bloggers and companies that support breastfeeding and have something to say about it will be sharing their views, experiences and knowledge with you so that you can make an informed choice about your very own breastfeeding journey and perhaps give you the confidence and information you need to achieve yours and your babies breastfeeding goals.

You will hear from a large collection of Mums and family members as well as companies sharing their experiences around these four themes, and we ask that you take a few minutes each day to read the articles and share them with your friends so that you can learn something new, share a top tip by commenting on the articles and be entered to win the amazing Grand Prize!

All you need to do is subscribe to this blog so that you can receive updates about the Hunt and information on where to find the newest articles and posts.  As soon as bloggers and companies get onboard there information will be published on this site so that you can see who’s taking part and go along to read their past posts and learn about how they support breastfeeding through products or charitable work.

Once the Hunt begins at 10:00am on June 1st, 2012 you will be able to visit the bloggers, companies and organizations websites to hunt for their breastfeeding articles which will include the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt 2012 logo.  Once you have read the article and found the logo you can enter the competition by using the Rafflecopter widget which will ask you to leave a comment about the article or answer a simple question about breastfeeding.  You will also have additional chances to enter the competition by sharing the competition on facebook and twitter.  Each time you comment about an article or share the competition you will receive X point.  Once you have accumulated XXX points you will be eligible to enter to win the Grand Prize.  Don’t worry if you don’t have enough time to accumulate this many points as there will be smaller competitions to enter throughout the month and you may even find out about some amazing coupon codes and offers to use at some of the company websites – so stay tuned for more information.”

I have decided to join this wonderful event by writing each week a blog around a different theme.

Week 1 – Prematurity
Week 2 – Article – It doesn’t matter
Week 3 – Community Support
Week 4 – Allergies

I hope that you will find my blogs informative and supportive. Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments you would like to make. I look forward to hearing from you.

Petra

Lactation Consultant IBCLC and La Leche League Breastfeeding Counsellor

Gestalt Counsellor

http://boobiemilk.blogspot.co.uk/p/keep-britain-breastfeeding-scavenger.html

The blog expresses my personal opinion.

I think a lot of people will have heard about the Time magazine’s cover of breastfeeding (Are you Mum enough lightbox.time.com/2012/05/10/parenting/) and the furore it caused.

Breastfeeding and attachment parenting have been all over the media. Films, interviews and statements came in from all sides of the arguments. 

I took it all in and noticed I was emotionally not engaging – I had stepped back and observed.

What an interesting reaction.

Curious I started exploring what had led me to this course of action.

I noticed that I felt overwhelmed with all these different points of view, as most of them had something I agreed with or could at least follow up.

• Yes – it is great that it has started a discussion about breastfeeding and/or attachment parenting
• Yes – it was only done to up sales
• Yes – it is provocative (which is either viewed as brilliant or unacceptable)

and thus the list goes on……

What I was left with in the end is the question:

What is the impact on the women/parents who sit, like I did, in the middle of it all, trying to make sense of all the arguments? 

• Do they find it supportive and informative?
• Does it help parents to sit back and reflect?
• Does it encourage dialog? 
• Or does it invite a stance of: If you are not for me you are against me?
• Are the responses coming from a place of compassion, so that an opportunity like this doesn’t end up as mud-slinging contest?
• Is it really opening the doors it needs? Or is it opening wounds and therefore closing doors?

As you can see – I am still in the process of making up my mind.

While I agree that there are plenty of discussions needed until our society becomes one that supports families in their fully informed choices, I also hope it will be done with compassion and mindfulness of the impact it might have.

http://boobiemilk.blogspot.co.uk/p/keep-britain-breastfeeding-scavenger.html